The A-Team: A Study in Turning Two Sentences of Introductory Narrative Into a Feature Film

My Papa (Mom's dad) and my Old Man were the biggest influences on my early movie viewings. Without cable, choices were limited (having only younger siblings). Things changed somehow. I've since reasoned that Papa and The Old Man convinced the cautious members of my family that sharing in my consumption of their favorites could justify watching sophisticated or bawdy comedies and "classics" despite my tender age. Television fell into this category too, and I always remember watching "The A-Team" re-runs sat by the foot of my Papa's favorite chair (where we would later watch Bulls playoff wins galore, but that's the other blog). It replayed constantly on his expanding cable networks, and he loved it. Seeing the "single concept" television series for what they were and why he loved them endowed a sense of relativity that has since shown itself in my movie collection. The subtlety of character development by actors doing what they love can sometimes make a show (or movie) more than the sum of its parts (i.e., James Roday and Dule Hill on procedural crime-comedy "Psych"). "The A-Team" franchise might always fit into this category for me.

A uniquely American series when it debuted, the non-injurious gun-play and hilariously fiery (and equally non-injurious) explosion sequences kept audiences attentive, but the characters and actor chemistry seem the most often cited reasons for the original series' popularity/consequent syndication. Witnessing the dissolution of "hollyweird" into the marketing executives' playground it is, blockbuster anythings rarely interest me. Star Trek (a holdover from my Grandpa and Grandma's (Dad's parents) love of sci-fi/fantasy books and movies) gave me pause. In light of this self-doubt, I figured watching a guaranteed awful "reimagining" of a sentimental favorite might keep me from ever wasting time or money on remakes again. Fortunately for all of us here at the Film Box!, it worked. NO GO!

If you choose to revisit the synopsis from the intro to the series, it basically lays out all of The A-Team movie plot. The film takes us from the first meeting of the individuals that will eventually comprise an elite military team which excels in modern warzones. They take on their famous nickname, and the infamous mission that will see them court-marshaled and imprisoned. Again, nothing the intro doesn't tell us to expect. Once they've escaped (again, wow), attempts to clear their wrongfully sullied reputations grow more grandiose and lead to a climactic conclusion (supposedly). Seriously.

In desperate need of chemistry from the leads, only Sharlto Copley manages to garner laughs from his character portrayal, proficiency with accents, and lines of dialogue (instead of the scornful guffaws levied at the rest of the leads). Ask Benny C about Liam Neeson, and you will probably get a cross-section of my issues. Even after the commercial success of The Hangover (I've seen it twice just in case, so we need never mention it again) I had my doubts about Bradley Cooper being the "it" leading man for anything. Well founded. He never quite escapes the level of oozing arrogant douchieness that got him noticed in The Wedding Crashers. Jessica Biel as the leading lady/love interest also never gathers any steam. There's supposed to be history, affection, between Cooper's "Face" and Biel's "Sosa". Because of their limitations (i.e. Jessica Biel resembles/has the range of a constipated salamander), there's really no plot worth following throughout. Minus the demise of the baddies.

Fortunately for the franchise, leads rarely stay on for more than one or two poorly received movies. The only redeeming quality of this movie was the work of the side characters/bad guys. Patrick Wilson, like Copley, gives depth and caricature forcing my attentiveness until the end. Without Wilson, Copley, or the Biel sidekicks in Maury Sterling and Terry Chen, I could have posted this review as it stood before I even viewed the film (NOTE: Because my mailperson/building manager "loses" a film every few weeks, I pre-wrote my review in the hopes I would only need up through the No Go recommendation anyway). However, their ability to make the film at least viewable in light of the absence of story and lead acting is what the theme of this post was supposed to be anyway.